Growing up at home, there were 12 siblings: 12 names, 12 voices, 12 different ways of seeing the world, all under one roof. I honestly give it up to my parents for being able to raise all of us in one space. Some of us were loud, some quiet, some quick to speak, and some slower to be heard. From holes in walls, doors slammed, flying pots (or hands), to coffee sessions, debates or intense conversation, laughter, celebrations, tears and joy. I would not have had it any other way! I am one of those 12. And for a long time, that is mostly how I saw myself, 1 of the 12, number 3, and 1 of 6 girls. When I think about it, whenever anyone asks about my family, for me, descriptions include numbers instead of names. Similarly, family friends and relatives often asked, Ko e fika fiha koe? (What number are you?). I remember my parents saying, Ko e fika ua ia he tamaiki fefine (our second daughter), or Ko e hoko ena ‘ia ‘Ema (The one after Emma). That is one thing that I will never forget, order! But that’s a conversation for another time.

Being part of a big family is a gift that I am genuinely grateful for. It has shaped me in ways I did not fully understand until later. Looking back, I learned to share everything: space, food, attention, identity. I learned how to blend in or stand out, depending on what kind of day it was or the occasion. I learned how to listen before speaking and speak louder just to be heard. The battle to be heard was real! We all have strong personalities that show up in our ways, and navigating tensions with 11 other siblings while keeping the peace is a skill in itself! At the time, I did not realise how these moments taught us to be “diplomatic” in moving through emotional and often complex ties between us with empathy and intentional restraint. The world would say we were being passive or hiding what we truly felt, but we were learning how to choose when to express things in a way that preserved relationships without compromising truth. We were learning how to tauhi vā (maintain relationships). At the time, I never understood this until I started teaching and found myself tapping into this when navigating tensions between students. This is one of the lessons from being in a big family that helped me as a teacher, and wherever I work with people.

Along the way, as I gained experience and insight from new moments in life, I started noticing my own thread, my thoughts, experiences, questions, and things I was growing through that I kept in my mind and only shared with God through prayer or journaling. This blog is part of that thread.

Why “One Thread, Growing”?

The name, One thread, growing reflects more than a creative idea, it speaks to my identity, journey, and desire to keep growing in faith and learning. That one thread represents my sense of belonging in my “Cheaper by the Dozen” family. I will always be a thread connected to my parents and siblings, yet at the same time, I have grown and will continue to grow as life unfolds one thread at a time. One thread, growing, is about me learning, becoming, and still figuring out how to live this life God has blessed me with. Often, something small and seemingly insignificant (a thought, feeling, or connection) in my life developed into something bigger or more meaningful that shaped my path. I genuinely believe there is beauty in reflecting on and making sense of what has happened, what is happening, and what is growing underneath it all. Even if it does not make sense at the time, it may be revealed at a later date. For me, through these moments, I pause, reflect, and seek God’s truth in His Word, as well as fellowship with and listen to others. 

One Story, Still Unfolding…

This blog is where I write not just from a family of 12, but as one person trying to make sense of life, growth, and identity as it unfolds one thread at a time. 

Here, I will share the lessons learned and the ones I am still wrestling with, acknowledging where I come from and where I am heading. I will also share the parts of my story that are shaped by faith, family, culture, and lifelong learning.

I hope and pray that this blog will speak to anyone who has ever felt like they were trying to hear their voice in a crowded room. For anyone who was raised in a big family. For any of our Tongan people (young and old), navigating faith, cultures, expectations, and the in-between. The moments we go through that are not always black and white… the grey spaces where we still think and process whatever we are going through.

I am not here to give advice. I am here to reflect, remember, and share my story. 

Starting Fresh, Continuing Forward…

I used to blog under a different name, cheaperbythe12raised, which some of you graciously read and shared. That blog captured some of my thoughts and experiences when I was still at home, living in the humour, chaos, and deep love of being one of 12 siblings under one roof. It was my first attempt at making sense of my story.

Since then, life has shifted. I got married, moved into a new rhythm, and grew in ways I did not fully expect. Though I had my fair share of experiences, milestones, and life lessons at home, this was different. With new experiences came renewed perspectives and an ongoing learning, figuring out, and growing process. With this change and everything I went through in the past 4 years came the quiet urge to begin again, not to erase the past, but to honour where I am now.

So, this blog, One Thread, Growing, is not a reset but a continuation, a more profound commitment to reflection, storytelling, and becoming. I hope to write, weave, and learn out loud in this space.

As I continue blogging, I hope that something will resonate with you and complement your journey of discovery.

May God lead you and keep you.
With grace and growth,
Ella x